The Bachelor: Women Tell All

And tell all they did...although, these were some mean and insensitive women I must say. It's funny how the show can show people in such a different light. I think I even changed my opinion of Michelle!

Before diving into the women, I would like to say that Brad seemed very relaxed and satisfied with his decision. Hopefully that's because he picked someone with maturity and a softness to her...ahem, Emily. I like Chantal, but I just don't see it lasting. Emily has maturity years beyond her actual age and it shows. Also, at the end, when they were recapping his relationship with each girl, Brad made a comment about how he feels about marriage and each girl. With Chantal, he said that he could see himself marrying her. With Emily he said that he wanted to marry her. Well, we all know that most people do (or strive to do) what they want. I can't wait for next week to see whether my hunch is right!

Now for the women...I must say, I was disappointed in several of them. Jackie seemed much more aggressive than I had originally thought she was. She must have really been hurt by Michelle to react like that, but also, she was VERY opinionated. Stacey hit a new low on the show and blatantly questioned Michelle's mothering skills and THEN denied it. I didn't buy it that she was so ignorant that her comment didn't insult Michelle as a mother. It clearly did and she clearly meant it. My mother taught me that if you can't say anything nice, then don't say it at all. I have nothing more to say about that...

The Melissa vs. Raichel thing always seemed very adolescent to me so I was disappointed they discussed that again. Melissa did apologize on national TV to all the women and to Raichel so it seemed that she learned from the situation. Raichel, not so much. It was disappointing to me to see a grown women hold a grudge like that. Since they obviously won't be friends, then what difference does it make to swallow your pride and apologize. I just don't get it. If I wasn't already glad to have such wonderful girl friends in my life who aren't catty like this, then I wasespecially grateful after seeing this exchange. Thank you dear friends!

I was glad to see that Ashley H. and Ashley S. have grown since their time on the show. Both girls were classy and were honest about their experience. Not much to say there except that it's clear that the more mature women were kept on the show longer. Brad has that going for him at least!

Finally, there was Michelle. I honestly think that I've changed my opinion about her. Of course, if my previous narcissistic diagnosis had been true, then this could be seen as Michelle using her emotions to get what she wanted. In this case, public attention. But I honestly don't think that was the case. Michelle seemed honestly shocked and hurt that she had hurt others. I thought that she cried genuine tears over the hurt that she had caused in others and the fact that she hadn't intended to do that. It also seemed to me that the women who knew Michelle the best thought that her commentary was hilarious and hadn't taken offense to anything Michelle said at all. All that to say, I truly felt badly for Michelle and would now like to go back and re-watch her commentary for the humor in it. Of course, we the viewers didn't know anything about Michelle besides what we were shown so immediately we think that Michelle is self-centered and mean. But it seems that she is just super sarcastic. Who knew! One final thing, I saw a lot of maturity in Michelle when she apologized publicly, called Stacey out in a classy way, said that she thought Emily would be a good fit for Brad, and admitted to Brad that she thought he was right when he said that they were too much alike. Go Michelle!!!

Well, that's it for now. I cannot WAIT to see what happens next week! I truly hope that I will not be disappointed...

The Bachelor, week 8/9

For the record, I do realize that I am the worst Bachelor blogger EVER! Not only have I been late putting up my Bachelor response for the past three weeks, but I also completely MISSED last week. I have decided that becoming a regular Bachelor blogger is not my thing and that I am going to leave it to others out there. However, I will probably blog on my observations every once in a while because it's just plain fun!

I also have nothing further to say about my mental health observations about the girls. I've said my piece about Chantal and Emily is rock solid. My pick since day one! Brad, on the other hand, needs to step up and handle the pressure. I wonder if it's not about his commitment issues or his father or anything other than he can't handle the pressure. Sure, he's holding it together, but I'm not sure he is capable of making this decision wisely. Maybe that's what it was last time...too much pressure to pick one so he picked none. Honestly, he seems a bit immature for Emily (despite the fact that he's 14 years her senior!). She is always up front about the reality of life with a five year old and letting him in on what life would be like. And yet, he still doesn't seem to get it. He has little nieces and nephews from what I remember, but I don't think he totally comprehends insta fatherhood. But, he seems to like Emily the best and is therefore trying. Hats off for effort!

With Chantal, Brad seems to be infatuated with her infatuation. Let's face it...it feels good to be liked! Even when you're not interested in someone, it always feels nice to know that you've been noticed and that you invoke good feelings in them. Chantal and Brad seem to be a good match, but Brad does not seem as into her total package as he is about Emily...excluding his naivete about lil' Ricki Tik. He obviously thinks she's hot, but he doesn't tell her more than he should like he does with Emily. With Emily, he's assured the whole way, from wine picnics outside to three one-on-ones on a group date to giving away more information than he should have. I'm not always the best at picking the woman who gets the final rose, so I'm just making some observations.

Sooo...how does he decide between America's Sweetheart and The Girl Whose Slap was Heard Round the World? Can he handle the pressure? There seem to be equal reasons to stay with each one (and abc may have edited all the actual reasons he's choosing the way he is), but what does Brad want? Maybe he just doesn't know. Maybe he never will know. Either way, the world will know what happens in two short weeks from now. I don't know about you, but I'm excited.

Oh, and I'm excited for Girls Tell All next week. I can't wait to see our resident narcissist back in action....Yay!

just what i needed to hear...

I have been feeling so alone lately and wondering what it is that God is up to in my life. I feel as though I have been called to be the places I am and do the things I am doing, but still, it's not the bigger picture. I'm still missing the bigger things that I'm waiting for and I'm tired of going it alone. But the truth is, I'm not alone. A wise woman once told me that God doesn't lead us places just to drop us off and leave us there. I know this to be true, but it is often so hard to feel it. So, this blog from the Stuff Christians Like website was just what I needed to hear. I love how God reminds us of His greatness just when we need to hear it...not before or after, but just at the perfect time. Gives me hope that all this in between stuff is His perfect plan too...even if it doesn't always feel that way...

http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2011/02/4453/

The Bachelor, Week 7

Ding dong, the witch is gone! It has finally happened...Michelle has left the building. I do have to say that now there will be less entertainment on the show without her around. Of course, now is the time when we get down to business. We are past the "crush" stage and well into "crazy" for all involved. Of course, when the guy likes you back, there is a lot less of the crazy stage, so maybe we are in the "new relationship" stage. Either way, now we meet the families!

Besides Michelle leaving (who clearly was not about to share her emotions on national television...did you see the eye blinking in the limo?), Britt also left this week. Britt used to be a gymnast, but she looked much too tiny for that. I don't want to imply that Britt actually has an eating disorder in this blog. I take that very seriously and I wouldn't ever want to make an assumption about her eating habits. Some people are just little! But, if she was leaning toward anorexic tendencies, the DSM IV says to look for a refusal to maintain body weight at or above a minimally normal weight for age and height, intense fear of gaining weight or becoming fat regardless of actual weight, disturbance in the way which one's body weight or shape is experienced/denial of seriousness of low body weight, and the possible absence of at least three menstrual cycles. As you can see, extreme skinniness is just one sign of a possible eating disorder and there are several other factors involved that depend on the mental state of the person. I do not have enough, or any, information to say that Britt has an eating disorder of any sort, just that for the purpose of this blog entry, her small figure lends way to one diagnosis to discuss.

On the "group date from hell" (so dubbed on the show), the crazy was definitely coming out! I truly believe that much of Ashley and Chantal's attachment to Brad comes from their desire to deeply connect with a male figure in their lives. Of course, I also see a little bit of myself in Chantal as she cries almost every episode. If it were me on the show, I would probably do the same. Although, most people who know me know that I cry at Cheerios commercials so maybe I wouldn't place too much weight on that comparison. I also would like to take into consideration that it's not normal to have deep feelings for a person and be in a situation where you MUST be ok with him seeing two other people simultaneously with you on a date. Not normal in the LEAST! So I give these girls credit for airing their "crazy" stage on national television in such extenuating circumstances.

Finally, I want to apologize for yet again posting this blog so late after the airing of week 7. I have a much deeper appreciation for people who can fit in longer blogs about the show on a weekly basis. Props to you! Until next week after family fun...

The Bachelor, Week 6

To be perfectly honest, I have no idea what to say about this past weeks episode. First of all, it has been the craziest two weeks with a bunch of training for one job and some student drama at another. I've made it through all right, but wow am I ready for the weekend! I didn't even get to watch The Bachelor until very late on Tuesday night. While I thoroughly enjoyed the episode, the content was just lacking. Except for Michelle's antics of course. Her narcissism was in full swing Monday night. At least she makes the show interesting.

I am significantly beginning to wonder about Brad, the man of the hour. I think it's amazing how he is still keeping Michelle around. She caused way more drama than Jackie did last week! But he sees something in her so we get more entertainment. I am already embarrassed for her for next week based solely on the previews of her photo shoot on the beach with Brad. Maybe it's the whole vampire craze thing, but I keep picturing her looking up from kissing him on the beach with fangs and blood dripping down her chin screaming, "He's Mine!" to the other girls standing by. Maybe Maddison left her fangs and Michelle finally found a use for them after secretly storing them away in her purse the past three weeks.

Glad he let Alli go. My mom and I called her "face" because she always made the worst faces while on camera. Pretty girl, for sure, but her face was kind of elastic, stretching in ways you weren't expecting. The camera always seemed to catch it. Alli did have a very entertaining case of entomophobia that could certainly use some aversion therapy or some cognitive conditioning. I have never used either of those in a therapy session, but it would be interesting. I suppose if I were to use aversion therapy with Alli, I would have to wear protective gear. She hurled that glass of coke at Chantal something fierce! But at least if I were able to get her down to being with a bug in the same room, we could save Brad from screaming interruptions while speaking with Michelle. Michelle would love that too so all Brad's attention was only on her with no interruptions, or else she might get mad. Oh, wait, Michelle is always mad. It's her way of flirting.

Well, it's late, it's been a long week, and my brain is dead tired...I know this because I just mistyped 'dead' as 'ded'...nice. Have a wonderful weekend everyone and I promise to be more analytical and insightful next week in Anguilla! Oh, the places we go...

my own carrie bradshaw complex

It took me a while to get into watching Sex and the City back in the day. But one day, a friend suggested the show to me so I rented a few dvds...and I was hooked. For a while, I would just watch a show or two here and there. And then, it became an obsession. I clearly remember one night where Beth and I got into our car and drove to at least three different video stores looking for the next dvd in the series because we couldn't wait to see what happened next. It was the best night ever...seriously. Mostly because we did finally find it and were able to satiate our desire to find out what would happen between Carrie and Mr. Big.

My love for this show has nothing to do with the actual lifestyles that the women live...or rather, the choices that they make. What I do love is that regardless of how they live their lives, the women characters are relatable. I haven't consistently watched the show in a few years, but I have a newfound desire to watch it from the beginning as I am now in the same age bracket as the women portrayed in the series. I love how they find joy in their friendships and in experiencing life in their city. I love how they still encourage each other through the ups and downs of relationships without judgement. And of course, I love how they each have their own sense of style and wear it with confidence. Carrie in particular, is in love with shoes. Throughout the series, she is almost always buying shoes, imagining herself in new shoes, or scrounging up money to find a way to pay for shoes. While I'm not quite that obsessive, I have come to terms with the fact that no matter how un-materialistic of a person I am in general, that I love new clothes and new shoes in much the same manner.

Having been a broke grad student and then a broke unemployed adult with a masters degree, I haven't been able to spend money updating my own wardrobe. Of course, I have had a part-time job at J.Crew for the past 2 1/2 years so I have been able to occasionally purchase something with my discount. Being without money has been a good lesson for me to learn how to budget and spend money on clothes wisely. In fact, I have taken up "fantasy shopping" in which I shop online and even go as far as to put things I want in my "shopping bag" before exiting the site and never truly purchasing anything. It helps, really! You should try it if you find yourself impulsively always wanting to update your closet.

This June, my brother is getting married. His fiancee has asked both my sister and I to be bridesmaids in the wedding. I am very excited and honored to stand up in their wedding and celebrate their marriage. I am also very excited because this means I get to wear a pretty dress AND buy a new pair of shoes. Since I am on a budget, I will probably not buy my first pair of Jimmy Choos. But, I did browse the DSW website to see what I could find in designer-esque fashion. Since many of my friends that I would usually shop with live far away, I'm going to share my thoughts here and then you can comment and give suggestions/opinions. It'll be like we're shopping together. :-)

These I love. I think it's the wide straps and the slight platform that really make the shoe for me. It's classy and would go with the dress, but still a bit trendy as well. The shoes have to be silver, so I could also spice up a black dress for another event with these shoes OR wear them with jeans during the summer months.

Here is another option I love. Again, they have the slight platform on the bottom and with this pair, it's the ankle strap that I really adore. And I know that the heel on this one is much higher and may

make for a more uncomfortable ceremony for me, but I really do love a tall heel. Yes, they can wear on your feet after a few hours, but they look so good before the pain sets in. And I honestly don't care that I'm already tall...I feel confident in heels so I wear them!

Needless to say, searching for shoes for my brother's wedding also led me to view several other styles that would be perfect for just everyday wear. Take these booties...I have been obsessed with booties ever since I saw J.Crew's bronson suede bootie. But since my budget doesn't even cover this $70 pair at DSW, there is no way it will include the $200 I would spend on the J.Crew brand. Plus, I think these are much better and they come in black suede just like the bronson's. Sold...at least in my fantasy shopping world.

For anyone who is label obsessed, I have also discovered a wonderful website. It's called renttherunway.com. Here is a place where you can look up designer dresses, jewelry, and accessories, rent them for a few days, and then return them after your event for only a fraction of the price. It's a pretty good idea. Awesome if you have the money for it and want to wear a designer label. However, the lowest rental price for dresses is $50, which is usually how much I would expect to spend on a new dress anyway, except that you can't keep it. I did some "fantasy shopping" on this website as well and here are three of my faves.

The first two are different versions of the same Nicole Miller dress. I LOVE the straps, the neckline, the cut, and the open back. The last one is Mark & James by Badgley Mischka. I love how unique and sparkly this one is...I've always loved sparkle! I actually have another wedding to attend this spring in Chicago so maybe I will take advantage of this rental service. Could be fun to wear a designer dress and feel like Carrie Bradshaw for a day!

I really do love looking at new things, discovering new trends, and the enjoyment I get from dressing up and feeling good about myself OR dressing someone else up and watching them feel good about themselves. Sometimes it's just fun to feel girly and pretend to have money to throw around, even if it is just in my imagination. I hope you enjoyed my "fantasy shopping" experience just now. It's as if we're living like Carrie Bradshaw...just a bit on the cheaper side. :-)

The Bachelor, Week 5

First, thank you Chris Harrison for not wearing the same outfit this week in a different color. However, I did wonder if maybe that was just because he didn't have time to get dressed at the beginning of the episode and instead, threw on a pair of jeans with his pajama top. C'mon Chris! Second, I LOVE the dress that Shawntal picked out on her shopping spree extravaganza. If anyone knows where I could find a fake Fendi dress like that for normal person prices, please let me know. I'm going to a wedding this spring and I would love to wear that dress!

Honestly, this whole episode I kept thinking, "What to say...what to say." Most of the girls have definitely already flared their crazy sides, but I gotta say that they are holding their own pretty well. Even Michelle is keeping Brad in her crazy circle pretty well. Who knows why. I guess I could analyze Shawntal's profession and how weird it seems that she is so passionate about dead people. But, I actually thought it was kind of endearing...creepy though it may be.

But what about the situation with Emily? To me, she seems like the most mature woman in the group and the one woman who Brad seems to pursue the most. I think that she is definitely handling the whole situation well, but she also still has quite an attachment to her late fiance. Obviously, Emily had a very strong and beautiful relationship with her first love and that is hard to let go of. Even after six years. I truly hope that Emily can build Brad up enough to let him know that while her fiance will always be a part of who she is, that Brad can also be an important piece of her life. And I hope that Brad is able to understand that aspect of Emily. If I were a couples counselor for the two of them, I would encourage Brad to allow Emily to continue to grieve the loss of that relationship so that she might move forward with him. And I would encourage Emily to find ways to remind Brad of how much he means to her and how he has his own special place in her heart, regardless of her past. If Emily doesn't build Brad up and if Brad has a tough time continuing to allow Emily to process through her past relationship to move forward with him, then it would be really tough for the two of them to make it beyond the romance of the show.

I also have to say that I felt badly for Ashley S. It broke my heart a little to hear her say that she felt as though there wasn't any fight in her anymore. I know what that feels like for sure! From the little information that we know about her, it does seem like she has been through it in her life lately. I also felt badly because from the perspective that the show gave us, it seemed as though Ashley S thinks that she always has to work so hard in relationships. I can also relate to this statement as I always feel as though I have to work hard in relationships as well. Or maybe I just haven't met the right guy yet who will work in our relationship on his own without much prompting from me. Either way, I hope that Ashley S finds someone who lets her know that there isn't anything wrong with her and that when it is truly right, that he won't let her work hard to get his attention because she'll already have it.

Well, I guess that's all from me this week. Besides the drama with Emily and the two-on-one date, it was kind of a boring episode I thought. Hopefully next week will bring some good stuff as Chris Harrison billed it as "the most dramatic Bachelor season ever." Of course, aren't they all the most dramatic season ever? :-)

Have a great week and stay warm and dry out of winter weather.