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Sunday, November 20, 2011

blessings and gratefulness

It's been a year.

One year ago on Thanksgiving week I packed myself up from Colorado and drove back to the east coast to start over.

I made it.

Of course, to say that "I made it" implies that I finished something. Being here for a year doesn't mean I've finished anything. In fact, far from it. There is still so much more life to live! And I'm glad that I get to do it here. For so long, I had been saying that I wanted to move back home. For six years of my time in Chicago I would consistently say, "This is it. This is the year I move back home." And then I wouldn't. And then I moved to Colorado. But now, finally, I get to say that I'm living on the east coast again near my family. I'm here and I don't plan on leaving anytime soon.

There have been so many ups and downs over the past year, both personally and professionally. But mostly when I think of all the past year has brought me I think of how grateful I am for all the blessings God has given me in the midst of difficult moments and constant transition. For starters, I am so blessed to have parents who have the means to take me back in and help me get back on my feet. They have been amazing supports for me both financially and emotionally. While moving back in with my parents after being independent for so long wasn't the easiest thing for me to swallow, my parents have made it easy for me and for that I am very grateful. Not having to worry about paying rent, utilities, buying groceries, and refurnishing an apartment has been one of the biggest blessings of the year. Instead, I have been able to focus my mental and emotional energies on finding a job in my field, relationally adjusting, and stabilizing myself in general. I cannot thank my parents enough for just providing me with my basic needs.

I have also been blessed by God in His provision for income. When I left Colorado a year ago, I was completely unemployed and unsure of where my next paycheck would come from. Over the year, God has provided me with four different jobs here in Connecticut. And now that I think of it and look back, He provided very quickly. JCrew helped me out during the holidays last year and by the end of January, I was employed by two mental health agencies in the area and I could afford to pay my monthly bills. Less than six months later, I was hired to be full time at one of those agencies in a clinical position. It's not the job I had expected to have or one that works with a population I anticipated working with. But God has blessed me in placing me in a very good position within the agency during a time of growth. The program I work for is the only one of its kind in the state of Connecticut. We are leading the way when it comes to residential facilities structured specifically to work with teens with autism spectrum disorders. I am learning a lot and my clinical experience is growing exponentially by the day. The work definitely isn't easy and I'm very much looking forward to the break Thanksgiving provides, but I am very grateful and blessed in how God has placed me. I'm excited to see where He might lead me next.

I have also been very blessed by people in my life. I sometimes think that you don't know how blessed you are by the people in your life until you hit a point where you really need others to be there for you. A year ago I was so at a point where I felt as though I had nothing. I felt like God scraped away all that was to have the opportunity to start fresh with me. And God built me up again by using my friends and family to provide for me what I needed when I needed it. One friend provided me with money right when I most needed it. It is such a humbling feeling to really need financial help and I was truly blessed by her gift. The money she provided lasted exactly until I had work to provide for myself again. I was blessed by friends who opened their houses to me on my road trip back. Thank you for all the meals, beds, and joyous company you provided on my emotional trek back east. I have been blessed by friends on the east coast. Moving someplace can be so lonely and I have been so blessed by the friends I have out here who have reconnected with me. I know we're busy and it's difficult to get together, but thank you for just being close by. It helps to know you're near. I have been blessed by friends who encouraged me to participate in Bible studies and who have called me to check in and who have pursued me to visit them and have visited me. I was so angry and far from God a year ago. I couldn't have gotten to this point without your spiritual encouragement and emotional support. God is so good in His provision!

Finally, I think God has most blessed me with restoring my hope. Life is most difficult without hope. A year ago, I had little hope and little faith that anything in my life could be restored again. But it has been. God has restored so much and most of all, my hope that there is still more to come. That even though this season of life hasn't turned out to be anything like what I had anticipated it to be, that I still have hope for things to come. God has been so good to me in just one year and I cannot wait to see what He could bring in the next.

I love being on the east coast. I cannot imagine being anywhere else. I love being near my family. I have been able to reconnect and grow closer with them over the year. I love that when we have a birthday party or my sister decides to have people over for breakfast at the last minute, I can just hop in my car and be there. I can't imagine life any other way.

Thank you for all your prayers over the year. I am blessed by and grateful for you...